cats and litter boxes

Jyldoty, I understand you and your husband's frustration, I have been there myself.  The defecating outside the box is a clear message from your cat that she is upset about something.  Figuring out why she is choosing not to use the litter box is the challenge.

Usually soiling issues start as a result of some sort of change.  It is usually behavioral although an underlying medical condition can cause a cat to go outside the box.  Sometimes the slightest change in a cats life can be the culprit.  Things like new furniture, new paint, changes in human schedules, contruction outside the home, a stray cat outside, visitors, any new smells such as carpet cleaners, the possibilities are endless, unfortunately.

What I usually would do in this situation is to start by making sure all the basic litter box rules where in place.  Here are some guidelines for boxes.  One more box than cat.  Cats generally prefer to urinate in one place and defecate in another.  User friendly boxes; easy to access, easy to get in and out of (no hoods) and placed away from noisy appliances that may kick on while the cat is in there.  One box per level of home if possible.  Cats are very sensitive to smells so cleaning boxes should only be done with a mild dish soap and water and avoid litter that has lots of additives for odor and dust control.  When you scoop the box, do not stir the litter as you will mix the smells and possibly make the whole thing offensive.  Do not use platic liners, they may hold odors and encourage the cat to go in other similar places. 

Denying access to the soiled areas in the house whenever possible should help discourage a return trip to that spot.  Clean the area with a product especially designed to rid pet odors, certain ammonia products are not recommended as they may attract the cat back to the spot.   Placing a large object, double sided clear plastic tape or a food dish on the area that was being soiled on will help discourage the cat from going there until the soiling issue is resolved. 

Finally, reintroducing the litter box can be a great way to encourage the return to the box.  This is done by taking a really yummy treat such as canned tuna or salmon and leading the cat on its own four feet to the box.  Have the cat step in the box out of the box and place the treat down near the box.  What you are doing is reinforcing that the litter box is a nice place to be.  You never want to carry the cat to the box and put her in it, she will pick up on your frustration and get the message that the litter box is not the place to be.    

I have used the reintroduction method a couple of times and it does work.  I have added a link for you (in blue) to the full article on litter box use.  I know this is a lot of information to digest and some of it may sound a bit extreme to us humans but cats are very particular creatures and most like their world a certain way.  Please let me know if you have any questions on what I have written and I wish you good luck and a speedy return to the box for your cat.  I would say hang in there to your husband, it will get better!